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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
mikeysmallfry's LiveJournal:
| Monday, February 6th, 2006 | | 7:40 pm |
My Stance.
I wish to declair that from this point on, no matter what the circumstance, I refuse to take a stance on any issue that dosent involve me...I will lend a helping hand, or a listening ear, but I will not take sides. If you have even the slightest problem withit, I'm sorry, but I refuse to do it. I will not act as the dirty store owner, convincing one side to buy a knife and the other to buy a sword, and so fourth...If you have any questions, ask me. I'll answer...may not be the answer you like, but it'll still be an answer | | Sunday, February 5th, 2006 | | 11:45 pm |
| | 11:44 pm |
| | 9:53 pm |
| | 12:39 pm |
1 taquila, 2 taquila, 3 taquila floor...
So yeah...I was over at kyles place last night....we were bored, out riding his dirt bike when all the sudden kyle gets a call...talks for a short bit and then hangs up...he tells me we got a party to go to...I'm cool with that, I was supposed go over to travis'which kinda made me mad but I got over it...anyways we get over to the place where everything is going on and this dude brings out a mikes hard lemonaid, and a bottle of Jose...I was like alright it's on...sat down and the guy started pouring shots...he poured 3 doubles, and like...4 or 5 singles...I downed the first double and the guy was like "Damn dude..." so he started sliding them to me...ALL OF THEM u_u...I slammed em all back on right after another....no chaser...which sucked cause that shite is nasty...but it was all good...after about 30 minutes I'm 5 sheets to the wind...I'm upset with myself cause I only had half the bottle and couldent handle any more...twas gay...in any case...bunch of titties all over the place...and this one chick named brittni (I think thats how you spell her name) as pretty damn hot...well evidently I tried the whole night to get into her pants...lol...funny stuff...hrm...I called travis at like...12 or 11...something like that...got the answering machine and told him I was sorry I couldent make it out to his house...kinda...I think...Travis what all did I say???...anyways...well after that I was gone and blacked out...I talked to some chick for a bit, told brittni to fuck off, and all that other stuff...then passed out UNDER THE TABLE...lol...fun stuff...I wish the guys coulda been there...would have been so much fun...Oh well, I'm waiting on the 26th...but then I'm going to...well...no I won't limit myself cause after that first one, why the hell not go all the way, right? Peace people!! | | Tuesday, January 31st, 2006 | | 10:27 am |
fghjkl
Well Here I am and I'm in a constaint state of depression...it blows...lol..here comes National singles awareness day by the way! be ready and wear your anti-NSA signs/shirts/whatever you choose to make...lol...but yeah I never thought I would be so emo in my damn life and it's killing me....*shudders* in any case peace people, have a good one! | | Tuesday, January 17th, 2006 | | 12:03 am |
Must...Get to sleep....so tierd....energy draining! | | Sunday, January 15th, 2006 | | 1:18 pm |
Constaint Imperfection
I cannot leave here, I cannot stay, Forever haunted, more than afraid, Asphyxiate on words I would say, I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue, There are no flowers, no not this time, There'll be no angels gracing the lines, Just these stark words, I find, I'd show a smile, but I'm too weak, I'd share with you could I only speak, Just how much this, hurts me, I cannot stay here, I cannot leave, Just like all I loved, I'm make-believe, Imagined heart, I disappear, Seems...no one will appear here and make me real, There are no flowers, no, not this time, There will be no angels gracing the lines, Just these stark words I find, I'd show a smile, but I'm too weak, I'd share with you could I only speak, Just how much this hurts me, I'd tell you how it haunts me, I'd tell you how it haunts me, (cuts through my day, and sinks into my dreams) I'd tell you that it haunts me, (cuts through my day, and sinks into my dreams) You don't care that it haunts me, Oh! There are no flowers, no, not this time, There will be no angels gracing the lines, Just these stark words I find, I'd show a smile, but I'm too weak, I'd share with you could I only speak, Just how much this hurts me, Just how much this hurts me, Just how much you... So my last day in New York, good times, good times...The only one thing that I have a problem with is my mind over playing itself while we were down here, travis having the same problem. We came here in hopes that maybe we'd be able to leave our minds in burk and not worry so much about this or that. Wrong...Whereas we came here, met some awesome people, and some not so awesome people, we were still constaintly thinking about that one person back at home...well...2 people, 1 for the both of us...Hell I did that whole try to forget thing for 5 months and it didnt work, I don't know what I thought 2 weeks was gonna do u_u...lol...But yeah...I figure...I keep up a myspace....not so much xanga anymore...I post in there every now and then but hey what the hell...I'll start posting in here...Well....3 hours till we leave and counting I'm blowing away time on the computer listening to AFI, 10 Years, and who know's what else...well people I'm gonna go, peace Mikey | | Saturday, September 24th, 2005 | | 11:44 am |
Alright I'm going to move back to xanga because that was better>.>.......I'll keep the same name though | | Thursday, September 22nd, 2005 | | 7:36 pm |
Fuck a title...
Summer has come and passed The innocent can never last wake me up when september ends like my fathers come to pass seven years has gone so fast wake me up when september ends here comes the rain again falling from the stars drenched in my pain again becoming who we are as my memory rests but never forgets what I lost wake me up when september ends summer has come and passed the innocent can never last wake me up when september ends ring out the bells again like we did when spring began wake me up when september ends here comes the rain again falling from the stars drenched in my pain again becoming who we are as my memory rests but never forgets what I lost wake me up when september ends Summer has come and passed The innocent can never last wake me up when september ends like my father's come to pass twenty years has gone so fast wake me up when september ends wake me up when september ends wake me up when september ends *sighs a bit and wipes a tear from his eye*...this month is hell...pure unadultarated hell...I havent needed to cry this much in awhile...needless to say it's been a few months since a tear has even passed by my cheek. the insomnia get's worse with each passing night...I thought about a gun once, as the stars flickered in the sky telling me of my unfathomed failures...people have passed one by one...leading themselves in and then out. I sometimes hope someone could see the pools of blood that I leave, but then I think of what might happen if they did see...Hell they probibly would have left quicker...fine by me...less time to get attached...instead It's the Strong nothings wrong "it'll be alright" type. I don't know how to pull out of this constaint sprial of life...maybe some day I'll figure out what the air whispers to me...One in a million lights, one in a million people, one of a million problems...Can the endangered species not sleep soundly at night, knowing that the next day he may be left as nothing more than a skin and a few blood pools in the grass? if it's so easy for them...why is it so hard for me? why is it so tough for me to lay my burdens to the side so can rest easy...Let me rest with the burdens of a boy! not that of a man! Current Mood:  annoyed | | Friday, September 9th, 2005 | | 2:06 am |
Accomplishment
Well I feel good:) I don't know it could be the time or whatnot but I read kala journal (I know I'm not supposed to by my own words but I couldent quite help it) and I read that her mom is letting her move to tulsa and all I could think is I don't give a fuck:-D I'm so proud of myself. I may actully be forgetting about that...lol...but at the price of other things Current Mood:  accomplished | | Tuesday, September 6th, 2005 | | 7:05 pm |
can somebody say pointlessness?
Your dating personality profile:
Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life.
Conservative - You take a conservative stance on most issues and aren't shy about saying so. Your political views are an important component of who you are.
Intellectual - You consider your mind amongst your assets. Learning is not a chore but a constant search after wisdom and knowledge. You value education and rationality. | Your date match profile:
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Shy - You are put off by people who are open books. You are drawn to someone who is a bit more mysterious. You want to draw her out of her shell and get to know what she is all about.
Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need. | Your Top Ten Traits
1. Adventurous
2. Conservative
3. Intellectual
4. Athletic
5. Practical
6. Religious
7. Traditional
8. Romantic
9. Big-Hearted
10. Shy
| Your Top Ten Match Traits
1. Practical
2. Shy
3. Conservative
4. Adventurous
5. Traditional
6. Religious
7. Athletic
8. Intellectual
9. Wealthy/Ambitious
10. Romantic
|
Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversionswow...I already knew most of that *nodnod* | | 4:19 pm |
Photograph Look at this photograph Everytime I do it makes me laugh How did our eyes get so red And what the hell is on Joey's head And this is where I grew up I think the present owner fixed it up I never knew we'd ever went without The second floor is hard for sneakin' out And this is where I went to school Most of the time I had better things to do Criminal records says I've broke in twice I must have done it half a dozen times I wonder if it's too late Should I go back and try to graduate Last man and now that it was back then If I was them I wouldn't let me in Oh oh oh oh god I....I Every memory of looking out the back door I have a photo album spread out on my bedroom floor It's hard to say, time to say it Goodbye, goodbye Every memory of walking out the front door I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for It's hard to say, time to say it Goodbye, goodbye Remember the old arcade Blew every dollar that we ever made The cops seeing us hanging out The say somebody went and mowed it down We used to listen to the radio And sing along with every song we know We said someday we'd find out how it feels To sing to more than just the steering wheel Kim's the first girl I kissed I was so nervous that I nearly missed She's had a couple of kids since then I haven't seen her since god knows when Oh oh oh oh god I...I Every memory of looking out the back door I have a photo album spread out on my bedroom floor It's hard to say, time to say it Goodbye, goodbye Every memory of walking out the front door I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for It's hard to say, time to say it Goodbye, goodbye I miss that town I miss the faces You can't erase it you can't replace it I miss it now I can't believe it So hard to stay So hard to leave it If I could I relive those days I know the one thing that would never change...... Every memory of looking out the back door I have a photo album spread out on my bedroom floor It's hard to say, time to say it Goodbye, goodbye Every memory of walking out the front door I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for Its hard to say, time to say it Goodbye, goodbye Look at this photograph Everytime I do it makes me laugh Everytime I do it makes me...... I Love all you guyses | | Saturday, September 3rd, 2005 | | 5:55 pm |
God damnit...I had another good post but then I press the delete button.......DAMNIT! that blows...well to sum it up I'm in a downward spiral, I can see the ground coming and quick, I need to pull up but there's little hope...and that's what this all depends on....is hope... Current Mood: frustrated | | 3:12 pm |
"Pain Redefined" Failing, falling, lost in forever Will I find a way to keep it together? Am I strong enough to last through the weather in the hurricane of my life? Can it be a conscious decision? Are the rightful ways to alter my vision? Am I speeding towards another collision in the early breeze of my life? Memories don't lie You're no better than Memories don't lie You're no better than Memories don't lie You're no better than Those who have fallen Memories don't lie You're no better than Memories don't lie You're no better than Memories don't lie You're no better than Those who have fallen And please believe me Did my eyes deceive me? Don't stand me up Just leave me I have fallen again This is the end Pain redefined Shaking, burning up with the fever In the realm of pain, I am the deceiver That will let myself, so I can believer her But she dissembles my life I cannot dispel the illusion All my hopes and dreams are drowned by confusion Can I find a way to make a solution that will reconfigure my life? Memories don't lie You're no better than Memories don't lie You're no better than Memories don't lie You're no better than Those who have fallen Memories don't lie You're no better than Memories don't lie You're no better than Memories don't lie You're no better than Those who have fallen And please believe me Did my ears deceive me? Don't stand me up Just leave me I have fallen again This is the end Pain redefined And I know that stillness shatters We have all been frightened by the The sound of footsteps on the pavement of our lives I stand and fight I'm not afraid to die Hypnotized, bury me tonight Please believe When the world deceives me Don't stand me up Just leave I have fallen again This is the end Pain redefined | | 2:07 pm |
Had a bad day again She said I would not understand She left a note and said "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again. She spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace. Smeared the lipstick on her face. Slammed the door and said "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again." And she swears there's nothing wrong I hear her playing that same old song She puts me off and puts me on And had a bad day again She said I would not understand She left a note that said, "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again." Oyi.......Today started off bad and...well it's carrying on the tradtion...I would say I'm starting to lose hope in things...the single person I thought would never stop being my friend is slowly drifting away...which breaks my heart cause...well never mind...in any case I hope she's happy...and wish she werent so stupid at times>.>...but what can you do... Peace be people Current Mood:  rejected | | Wednesday, August 31st, 2005 | | 2:16 am |
In the name of all that is holy....or unholy....OR DAVID DRAIMEN!
*sighs*alright let me think...well I'm going to be getting my school stuff and then moving, not sure where to, bu moving none the less...it will still be within the wichita area...prolly not even outta burk....but one way or another...then...once I get my schooling done...I'm going to do my 4 years in the military...then I'm coming back...I've made this promise to myself...not to stay for good...but just to see people I know...no...I might as well not lie...to a point I want to see people...on the other hand...I want to see Melissa...She says she's still going to be here. after 4 years because of College...I'm kind of banking myself upon that...but don't get me wrong..I will come back to see each and every last one of you...I want to see how you grew...what life has given you...because I know the potential for all of you...I know that sounds odd or whatnot...but I can see it...some of it is to do nothing more than have a family and settle yourselves...others are to go out and enjoy what the world has to offer...fame...fortune...success...I can't say who's going to do what...but form how it's turning out I have a nice clue...well...anyways I'm off now Current Mood:  random icon | | Tuesday, August 30th, 2005 | | 3:30 am |
Something that is...slowly getting under my skin...People who claim to suck at life...I'm not normally one who make's his depression known unless you know how to read me...which...isnt that hard I might add...but by that time I have no choice...but jeez man...these people are graduated, have jobs, are either living where they want willingly...or are in the process of getting out of their household...and yet, there are still those who no matter what they obtain feel it's not good enough...even though, I myself, am among those people...I mean come on...you have gotten more things accomplised than other's have...you actully HAVE jobs..do I? no...you have the right to obtain them...I don't...some of you have girlfriends...or just plain out and out girls swooning over you...yeah hi, I'm over here with the rest of the losers...you have a highschool diploma, in which you obtained on time...Hell I'm still making my way through school...being homeschooled... there are so many thing that you people take for granted that I wouldent mind having...I'd trade my computer, my xbox...my radio my whatever else you wanted to have a highschool diploma...but sadly it's emblazened with your name...it can't be given to whom ever..it has been perminately given to you...guy's...damn...I don't know...I know I'm not a bad person...but ya know..nice people don't normally excel in life...they don't get anywhere unless they have a personal agenda...ironically enough...I'm too stupid to create a personal agenda...I mean...hell I could lie cheat and steal my way through highschool...that'll get me loads of places!...I could lie my way into a girls heart...but then what kind of person would I be? I could take up...hell I don't know..boosting cars...but no...I'm too afraid of the law...just....do me a favor...stop saying that you suck at this or that...when you don't Current Mood: guilty | | Monday, August 29th, 2005 | | 8:00 pm |
Live - Selling the Drama
"Selling The Drama" and to love: a god and to fear: a flame and to burn a crowd that has a name and to right or wrong and to meek or strong it is known, just scream it from the wall I've willed, I've walked, I've read I've talked, I know, I know, I've been here before hey, now we won't be raped hey, now we won't be scarred like that it's the sun that burns it's the wheel that turns it's the way we sing that makes 'em dream and to Christ: a cross and to me: a chair I will sit and earn the ransom from up here | | 7:44 pm |
Emo entry!
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth...the world turns the same way day after day, never to slow, never to quicken. old lives are lost, new lives are born. the world has never changed, nor will it ever. a villan shoots a gun, a cop loses his life. a doper shoots up, and a kid lives by the gun, and dies by the gun. so end a new life, causing a systematic cluster fuck known as modern life "Selling The Drama" and to love: a god and to fear: a flame and to burn a crowd that has a name and to right or wrong and to meek or strong it is known, just scream it from the wall I've willed, I've walked, I've read I've talked, I know, I know, I've been here before hey, now we won't be raped hey, now we won't be scarred like that it's the sun that burns it's the wheel that turns it's the way we sing that makes 'em dream and to Christ: a cross and to me: a chair I will sit and earn the ransom from up here Current Mood:  apathetic |
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